The Deathly Hallows, Chapter 36: The Flaw in the Plan

Wow.  The last chapter of the last book.  Exactly how did I end up with this one?  There’s a lot here to unpack and I’m afraid I won’t really do it justice, but I’m pretty sure Ashley’s not going to accept that as an excuse so here goes things.

CHAPTER 36: THE FLAW IN THE PLAN

Harry awakens on the Forbidden Forest floor and shows a whole lot more physical self control than I’d ever be able to muster myself.  I mean, I’m right now just sitting in my comfortable desk chair in my comfortable office and I CAN’T STOP FIDGETING.  But Harry? He has a quiet word with Narcissa Malfoy, gets Cruciatus-ed like a flipping piñata, hauled off by a sobbing half-giant, and displayed on the Hogwarts lawn in front of the people he loves, all while convincing everyone around him that he’s dead.  Is this one of those new skills you pick up from dying?  Because if it is, I think I just solved David Blaine.

So then Voldemort basically just stands around being a dick until this happens:

Neville Longbottom

Which then reminds me of this:

tumblr_mhcj4iiSD01rsp6y8o1_500

Which makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.  Because yeah, read the goddamned books.  Oh wait, we just did.

Harry uses this EPIC distraction to disappear, and amidst the chaos that follows only Hagrid notices he’s gone missing.  Bless.  Well then all hell breaks loose, as it does, and Harry displays the second trick he picked up from dying: how to miraculously avoid being inadvertently hit by a random jinx while invisible and not really paying attention to anyone except Voldemort and being shoved around by a panicked stampeding mob.  I’m little; there’s no way I’d get out of that without being trampled to death.

So now Voldemort is basically just wandering around being a dick when this happens:

daughter

Also, this makes no sense:

huh

You guys, I totally love Tumblr as much as the next gal, but I feel like we, as a collective, need to get a grip with this “Keep Calm” business.  Because have you seen Tom Hiddleston? THERE IS NO KEEPING CALM.

So, Harry uses this latest EPIC distraction to un-disappear, and the crowd goes wild!  And then it’s all Exposition City, Population: Harry.  And I have no problem admitting that I did not completely understand his explanation of the titular “flaw in the plan” the first time I read this.  Because I am not very smart.  Also, I can’t quite decide how badass/cool/cheeky/lame it is that Harry starts calling Voldemort “Tom” (not that Tom).  Thoughts?

And then this happens in the movie, but not in the book:

20110827-js-hpdhp2-voldemorts-death

Although the end game remains the same: Ding, dong, the dick is dead.  And I mourn for Ralph Fiennes’s beautiful face.  Let’s all agree to remember him like this, yes?

tumblr_mb46ksKzx31qc48m0o2_500

That’s better.

So then Harry uses that EPIC distraction to sneak off with Hermione and Ron, wrap up the Horcruxes storyline, and deliver the understatement of the century: “I’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime.”  Also there was something about sammiches.

I love sammiches.

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8 thoughts on “The Deathly Hallows, Chapter 36: The Flaw in the Plan

  1. Kevin O'Shea says:

    Once again, Luna proves to understand Harry better than anyone else, because she’s the one who prompts him to use the Cloak to go see Ron and Hermione without being assaulted by the festivities.

    I love Luna -so much-.

  2. Gretchen Alice says:

    One of my absolute biggest pet peeves with the movies (and I have A LOT) was that they never showed Harry fixing his wand with the Elder Wand. I mean, come on.

  3. Ashley says:

    Is anyone else REALLY PISSED that the internet has co-opted ‘Keep Calm’ and totally ruined it? And I would bet 90% of them have no idea where it came from.

    • Jennie says:

      I now cringe-vomit any time I see anything “Keep Calm” related. I HATE THAT THE INTERNET RUINS THINGS. Stop it, Internet, go to your room.

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